Vs. Sunderland (Arsenal Fan's Therapists Will Get Extra Work)

1. Alrighty then, here we go. Last chance to win silverware. Apparently, Sunderland's fans don't think much of this match as there are a massive number of empty seats in the stadium
2. Arsenal and Sunderland begin to run about on the sandlot at the Stadium of Light. Damn, that's a piss poor pitch.After the San Siro, though, perhaps it doesn't feel so bad to the squad
3. Damn, there goes another player down. Oh. no. SQUILLACI!
4. Where did we get the Arsenal medical staff from, London Clown College?! All the injury problems Arsenal have had with injuries over the years, you get a player like Coquelin coming on after a hammy whammy and you get 7 minutes of him before the hammer drops again.
5. Oooh. Sunderland smells blood as Le Coq goes off to be replaced by the Squid. (I'd be smelling goals, too, if I looked up and saw Squid and DeeJou in the back. Frankly, if they can't score on this defense they've got bigger problems). Wow, while I am a bitter, disillusioned Gooner, even I will admit there is a tidal wave of bad luck with injuries. Of course, the other side of that is that any problem can be dealt with, if you assess the factors at play and correct for them. Arsenal just seem to have injury after injury, season after season, and are not doing something right, when it comes to fitness. 
6. That said, Come on Arsenal! I do like Coquelin, but come on, he's not even a regular player yet. They can't fall apart because theylose him.
7. Arsenal's looking to me like the least incisive passing team in the EPL. Side-to-side passing. It's like they've studied the Barca playbook but lost the chapters on the final third.
8. Verminator or Vermin? Previously, our strongest defender, he's had two shockers in a row. The first half goal started with a poor decision to back pass to DJ, needlessly putting the hapless defender under pressure.
9. Ox caught flat-footed on the line, boot fumbles the own goal in. Ouch. That's a bit dispiriting. Sums up the whole mess of this season. Right, then. Off to see my therapist.

Random Nines Between CL and FA Cup

1. The first 30 minutes of the Barcelona-Leverkusen match raised the question of whether a team could hold 100% possession during a significant portion of a match. Seriously, it was like watching a Harlem Globetrotters-Washington Generals game, only not that close.
2. Carlos Puyol should be playing bass in a 70s classic rock band
3. I haven't been Per Mertesacker's biggest fan, but the thought of Sebastien Squillaci on the pitch again is almost too horrible to bear
4. It's open season on the Arsenal squad from former players. Keown. Dixon & Pettit.
5. Theo is supposedly out in the summer cull, according to the Mail, but I'll believe it when I see it. I stopped believing in Santa Claus and the Arsenal transfer window a few years back. 
6. Apparently, it's almost as fun being a Chelsea fan this year, as it is being a Gooner...
7. Martin O'Neill reckons he has the players to cause Arsenal trouble? Good one, Martin. Arsenal has the players to cause Arsenal trouble (see previous item) 
8. Switching to the MLS, I'm not an immediate fan of this trade. Don't know much about Johnson, though it doesn't appear that he's done too much consistently or recently. Throwing Fucito and Neagle into the pile for a striker of indeterminate value seems awfully high price to pay.
9. I'm still miffed that Sounders didn't get Seba back (letting the Whitecaps snag him instead). I'm skeptical that Eddie Johnson is the hard working, speedy goalscorer the squad needs. The comments I've seen around have noted that he's not known for a work ethic and is a few seasons beyond his peak. 

Nothing Big to Report Today...

Nope, nothing happening. Slow news day for Arsenal fans...Oh, damn. Might as well get this over with.

1. I haven't watched the game yet, but a friend inadvertently spilled the score beans earlier today
2. Alright, then. Tucked in for the disaster. First thing is that ESPN has got to do away with that ridiculous mini-pitch the announcers play on pre-game and halftime. Worst idea since the electric vuvuzela
3. Another bad idea is Ibrahimovic's facial hair. Yes, the Gunners looked bad but they didn't look that bad.
4. Was Rosicky ever good? I can't remember.
5. Speaking of useless, what in God's name do the endline officials do? I've yet only seen them make two kinds of calls: the wrong one and the complete whiff
6. Sadly, from just a footballing perspective, it's sad stuff that this Arsenal squad is in the Champions League, but the buccaneering Tottenham squad is not. 
7. Boring, boring Arsenal.
8. Dennis Bergkamp is nice about it, but pretty damn spot on as to Arsenal's failings
9. Today's WTF moment brought to you by Mega-Mouth

Now that I've had the opportunity to watch the Blackburn match on the DVR...

1. Official attendance was 59,643. If only. There weren't enough bin bags in North London to cover the empty seats. That'll show you, ya dirty dissenters.
2. Up until Morten Gamst Pedersen scored, I had no idea he was in the game
3. Three nice assists from Theo Walcott which means, of course, he won't do dick until April. He did show that he's still a decent track star. 
4. Alex Song is having a fair season when it comes to passing. Two delightful passes leading up to the first and third goals and a fair number quality passes throughout the match.  This is a much better use of Alex than last season's calamitous Attackin' Alex.
5. Ian Darke is the Frank Gifford of EPL announcing.
6. Speaking of The Darke One, during the match he commented that new signing Thomas Eisfield was a big fan of Tomas "Crockpot" Rosicky and would 'no doubt' be mentored by the Czech. If true, that strikes me as one of the most alarming things I've heard since Craig Bellamy teaching anger management to young players.
7. Coquelin continues to impress. Playing out of position at right back, he was solid in defense, good on the ball and looked to get up into the attack He had more than twice as many tackles as any other Gunner.
8. Szczesny is in the bottom three saves percentage in the league. Surely, a function of our defense than a true read of the Pole's performances (i.e. 8 goals against @ Ol Trafford)
9. I'm not a fan of divers. I strongly believe that a dive should merit a yellow card. Dive with more than a triple roll and the penalty should be a red card, or a cattle prod (better, both). But, wow, this player gives divers everywhere a bad name.

1. Thank Heavens for Blackburn! At least there is still one EPL team that plays with the "They're Invincibles" inferiority complex that more than half the league used to suffer from. I'll watch the match later on the DVR, but having watched previous Blackburn self-immolations against the Gunners, I know what to expect.
2. Cue wild "Arsene Knows Best" celebrations (until the next loss)
3. I guess the fan protest could've been better timed, eh?
4. Every douche has his day...
5. Does Wenger listen to the word-foolery that pops out of his mouth?! How about the lazy Russian giving a little respect to the fans by showing some commitment and work rate on the pitch?
6. Speaking of loosey-goosey mouth. Ol' 'Arry is doing the 'live by the mouth, die by the mouth' routine
7. Seattle's forward lineup leaves me underwhelmed. I would've been seriously whelmed had they beaten Vancouver to the punch and retrieved Seba from Philly. Oh, well. It's not as if speed and work rate up front is something we would want.
8. My new blog is going to be "Sh*t Arsene Says"
9. Robin van Persie. If our #10 isn't the league MVP, I'll eat my boots. We'd be near relegation zone without the Dutchman. Pure class.

Oh, Arsenal!

1. Amazing comeback against Aston Villa. Hooray, everything is great at Arsenal! What a genius is Arsene Wenger.
2. Oh, no. Another sad, listless draw/loss against a (historically) lower table team! Arsene Wenger is a stubborn old coot who has forgotten everything he ever knew about football (which wasn't much, since he just threw the ball out for Vieira, Bergkamp, Pires & Henry, the lucky bugger)
3. If it were possible f
4. Fortunately, the Gunners' silverware drought is over as they are certain to win at least one of the remaining matches this season
5. Does Le Profeseur ever listen to the sounds coming out of his mouth? every game's a cup final?! Players returning from injury are like new signings?! Madness. Sheer madness.
6. BTW, if a player returning from injury is like a new signing, does a setback equate to our star midfielder leaving the team to play for Man City?
7. Chris Foy really is a terrible idiot. That's not opinion. That's just fact.
8. Shocked to see cheerleaders at Bolton. Is this new? The MLS doesn't even have cheerleaders FGS.
9. Was Szczesny highduring wednesday's game? seriously, I don't recall seeing him play that nervously since his first league games with the club. He looked very uncomfortable with the ball at his feet, and invited trouble as if he were Fabianski.

Full 9 Exclusive

Breaking news. The Full 9 has just gotten a hold of Arsene Wenger's secret January Transfer Window Shopping List.

1. Get Jack Wilshere back from injury
2. Get Gervinho back from injury (bonus: teach him to finish)
3. Get Santos back from injury
4. Get Sagna back from injury
5. Talk to Thierry Henry about two more weeks
6. See what Kanu is up to
7. Get Andrei Arshavin's confidence back 
8. Talk about our sustainable business model
9. Reiterate pledge not to panic buy